"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome." — Brené Brown
Here's something I need you to hear: it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to feel overwhelmed, scared, angry, sad, or any combination of emotions that life throws at you. In fact, allowing yourself to feel these things might be the most courageous act you can perform.
We live in a world that constantly tells us to be strong, to keep it together, to push through. But what if true strength looks different than what we've been taught? What if the bravest thing you can do is to acknowledge that you're struggling and ask for help?
The Myth of Constant Strength
We've been sold a lie about what strength looks like. We think it means never crying, never asking for help, never admitting when things are hard. But that's not strength—that's armor. And armor, while protective, also keeps out the very things that can heal us: connection, support, and love.
Real strength is more nuanced. It's the ability to hold space for your own complexity. It's knowing when to push forward and when to rest. It's being honest about your limitations while still believing in your capacity to grow.
"I used to think being strong meant never crying in front of anyone. Now I know it means being brave enough to let people see my tears and trust them to hold me anyway."
— James, navigating life's challenges
Permission to Feel Everything
When you're going through difficult times, you might feel a whole spectrum of emotions—sometimes all at once. You might be grateful for the support you have while simultaneously feeling angry about the situation. You might feel hopeful one moment and completely overwhelmed the next.
This is normal. This is human. You don't have to choose one emotion and stick with it. You can feel everything, and all of those feelings are valid. The goal isn't to feel only positive emotions; it's to feel all of them without judgment.
The Courage to Be Seen
Vulnerability is scary because it means letting other people see the parts of you that aren't polished or perfect. It means admitting that you don't have all the answers, that you're scared, that you need help.
But here's what happens when you allow yourself to be vulnerable: you give other people permission to be vulnerable too. You create space for authentic connection. You discover that you're not alone in your struggles, and that there are people who want to support you.
What Vulnerability Looks Like
- • Asking for help when you need it
- • Sharing your fears with trusted people
- • Admitting when you're overwhelmed
- • Crying when you feel like crying
- • Saying "I don't know" when you don't
What Vulnerability Is Not
- • Oversharing with everyone
- • Using emotions to manipulate
- • Dumping on others without consent
- • Ignoring boundaries
- • Refusing to take responsibility
Finding Your Support System
Being vulnerable doesn't mean you have to be vulnerable with everyone. It means being selective about who you trust with your heart. Look for people who have earned the right to hear your story—people who respond with empathy, who don't try to fix you, who can hold space for your emotions without making it about them.
These might be friends, family members, therapists, support groups, or even online communities. The key is that they make you feel safe, seen, and supported. They remind you that your feelings are valid and that you don't have to navigate difficult times alone.
The Strength in Asking for Help
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it's a sign of wisdom. It means you understand that you don't have to carry everything alone. It means you recognize that human beings are meant to support each other.
When you ask for help, you give other people the opportunity to show up for you. You allow them to be part of your journey. You create connections that can sustain you through the hardest times.
Embracing Your Complexity
You are not a simple person with simple emotions. You are complex, multifaceted, and capable of holding seemingly contradictory feelings at the same time. You can be grateful and angry, hopeful and scared, strong and vulnerable.
This complexity is not a flaw—it's what makes you human. It's what makes your story worth telling and your journey worth walking. Don't try to simplify yourself to make others comfortable. Embrace the full spectrum of who you are.
The Power of Self-Compassion
Perhaps the most important aspect of embracing vulnerability is learning to be kind to yourself. When you're struggling, you might be tempted to judge yourself harshly, to tell yourself you should be handling things better, to compare your journey to others'.
But what if you treated yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend? What if you reminded yourself that it's okay to not be okay, that you're doing the best you can, that you deserve love and support even when you're struggling?
A Message of Permission
To everyone reading this: you have permission to feel everything. You have permission to not be okay. You have permission to ask for help. You have permission to be vulnerable.
Your feelings are valid. Your struggles are real. And you are not alone.